I tend to take notes while I watch movies. Then, I transcribe those notes here when I’m done. I recently watched Deadpool 2, so here it is. Text is what what written, information in [[double brackets]] are after-the-fact notes.
[[Like Keanu, I realized my notes on this are really short. It says something about me that “short notes” is some of the highest praise I can give a movie.]]
I’m sorry, the cast of Bridesmaids is WHAT? [[I watched at the Alamo Drafthouse, which plays old movies as part of events and just because, really, so they routinely show old trailers before the new trailers. It’s pretty cool I live near a theater that’s playing the original True Grit just whenever. Also, that Bridesmaids cast is bonkers-good.]]
Hey, actual previews already.
More Jurrasic Park. We’ve done this already. [[I’ll do this in my Avengers: Infinity War transcript, which I haven’t transcribed yet.]]
Johnny Knocksville movie again. Action Point. This is a good fit for Johnny Knoxville. It’s comfortable.
Please subvert this Spider-Man Movie under the…? Trippy. India. Has potential.
Upgrade-I like the high concept action movie. I am opposed to revenge movies, but, like, that’s the point of this one; revenge is a bad idea but this is the idea.
This Diet Coke is terrible. [[Alamo Drafthouse is one of those theaters where you order the food in the theater. It’s good.]]
This is a Marvel movie? [[I don’t remember the first one having the Marvel intro.]]
Smoking? Deadpool…you had cancer.
Wish these vignettes were integrated into real plots.
Holy shit this is Deadpool’s apartment.
The thing where they can do spiels and put one in the trailer and another into the movie is great.
Good damn it, they killed her. Fuck this. [[This was unnecessary.]]
If this is why TJ Miller, left I’m kind of with him for once. [[Still unnecessary.]]
Me: Deadpool needs pathos. [[Yes, “written by the real monsters.” We liked her.]]
Also Me: Yes BUT
Deadpool never let Colossus down. Colossus pushed hard for this.
Cable, why did you take so long?
We’re way too far in for this thing to suddenly have a plot.
Stupidest guards ever.
Rock bottom was the prison. He’s out of prison, so it’s an upswing. [[There’s a scene where Deadpool says he’s hit rock bottom and this is a nitpick that he’s actually coming back from the bottom.]]
I was looking forward to a rejected X-Men montage.
The trailer’s amazing.
I just realized he’s fighting Juggernaut and Black Tom Cassidy, two original Deadpool villains.
THIS is fridging. [[Cable’s wife and daughter dying just so he can be grim about it is textbook.]]
Cable and Deadpool: This relationship never gets less weird than a pantsless babylegs handshake.
Deadpool: Continuing to never pick up guns from dead enemies.
All of this was worth it for Cable being sarcastic just one time.
You could actually stop this with Deadpool dead.
Uh, Cable’s daughter’s name was Hope. They said it at a really important part of the movie. WTF?
Final Thoughts: I really enjoyed this. Deadpool movies are interesting, storywise. They cut up events and put them in whatever order feels right. Doing things like killing Vanessa satisfy the Gods of Rote Movie Story Structure, but bringing her back is something we wanted anyway.
It verges dangerously close to “bad things don’t count so neither do good things,” but the deal with Deadpool is that, like, we want to have a good time, so who gives a shit? Obligatory story structure shit is just there to get us to the jokes. Like Hot Shots. Y’know, like a comedy.
I think it’s still more than that though. Because the fourth wall breaks are kind of his thing, we’re at all times aware that we’re watching a movie about Deadpool. It’s not trying to immerse us. We’re sad because the character of Vanessa died and it makes the character of Deadpool sad. No one died. I didn’t think of any loved ones in those scenes because Deadpool has never–and has never tried–to get me to think of them as real.
No moment brought me out of the movie because I was never in it. It never needed me in it. It’s not the story of a guy named Deadpool who lives in this cinematic universe; it’s Ryan Reynolds in a movie about a character named Deadpool who has adventures.
Ceci n’est pas un Deadpool.