Bria: So why aren’t you using fire?
Rulah: My teacher gets judgey about it.
Bria: Ularon is out cold. He won’t mind.
Rulah: …fine. Flame Jet!
Bria: Did he just roll his eyes while unconscious?
Rulah: Watch your sword, Bria! Gahncai,
what’s your religion?
Goblin’s spear: SHATTER!
Rulah: Why not?
Gahncai: I don’t do religion. You?
Rulah: The Strongpeople believe in feeding, fucking, and fighting. But, y’know, with horses.
Rulah: We fight alongside horses.
Bria: No judgment. Horses are delicious.
Gahncai: I love ‘em.
Rulah: Where should I put down Ularon?
Gahncai: Uh…butchers table?
Rulah: No, too much viscera. Is that a pooping corner?
Gahncai: Yeah. Sacrificial altar?
Rulah: More viscera. Do goblins just sit, ever?
Gahncai: There. That filthy corner is the least filthy.
Rulah: Bria! Fall back!
Rulah: Goblin gods, huh?
Gahncai: They look like most primitive gods; food fucking, and fighting.
Bria: Primitive gods? In the Free Kingdom of Bria’s Hold, we have a proper religion which encourages utter services to the undead aristocracy.
Rulah: And your role is…?
Bria: Pontiff Immortus.
Rulah: I’ve got Ularon! Gahncai, we’re coming in! How’s the room?
Gahncai: Temple. Masterwork statues. Otherwise secure.
Rulah: Except for the door.
Gahncai: You told me to bust the door down.
Rulah: I had the idea that it’d be busted in such a way that it wouldn’t stop us, but it would stop a horde of goblins.
Gahncai: Well, it’s busted so the winners can eat the losers and then pick their teeth.
Bria: I’m not eating goblins!
Rulah: You little—
Rulah: Wow. Alright. Bria! Ularon is down and we’ve got a pit trap in front of us!
Bria: Regular, spikes, or acid?
Rulah: Gimme a sec.
Bottom of the Pit: Splurk!
Gahncai: Room’s clear!
Rulah: Teacher, may I use fire?
Ulraon: You may proceed in any way you wish, but I would pray you exercise the realms of the mind—
*crossbow bolt passes between them*
Rulah: So, ‘no’ then.
Rulah: Gahncai, open this door. We can defend this room better than the hallway!
Ularon: I could be a trap-
Bria: I’ve got the rear. Ularon and Rulah, get the front.
Ularon: But what if-
Gahncai: The statues in here have gemstones!
Ularon: Those are definitely warded!
Gahncai: The stones were warded!
Rulah: Are you all seriously in on this bet?
Bria: It’s fun! And it’s always a good idea to keep a low profile.
Gahncai: Besides, I don’t need spells to smell those goblins behind us.
Ularon: *hrmph* I don’t need spells to know the goblins are actually hiding in the darkness ahead.
Rulah: Do you two need a spell to tell you we’ve been flanked by goblins?
Metallurgist: 15,000 skorvans is a lot. I’ll need to arrange safe storage, confer with a blacksmith, and speak to a lawyer to draw up a payment plan.
Gahncai: I’ll need to confer with my people as well.
Gahncai: So, for a total of 15,000 minus a 2.5% half pay on neutral storage costs paid over 48 months is 300 point 68 skorvans per month.
Human street urchin: Nonono, you’re gettin’ screwed, guv. It should be 304.68 per month, minus my consultancy fee of 5 skorvans per month, paid up-front in a lump sum of about 340 skorvans. Rounded down, of course.
Gahncai: Of course.
Gahncai: You’re a lifesaver, kid.