A Lair Somewhere

Gahncai: I can’t fight here. It’s too narrow. These goblins are just chewing on me.
Rulah: Take Ularon back. I’ll do it.
Gahncai: Can you climb over me a little more gently?
Rulah: Fill less of this crevasse.
Fire: FWOOSH!
Goblins: Skree!
Gahncai: Can you get less fire on me?
Rulah: Fill less of this crevasse.
Gahncai: Some of these goblins are stabbing past you and into me.
Rulah: Fill. Less. Of this. Crevasse.

Gahncai: GRAHH!
Wall: CRAAACK!
Gahncai: It’s open! Looks like there’s an old ash chamber on the other side!
Rulah: Blaze!
Poop Corner: Fwoosh!
Flaming poop goblins: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!
Rulah: While they’re distracted, get Ularon. I’ve got Bria. Follow me into the gap!
Gahncai: You don’t have to tell me how to retreat from burning poop-goblins into a volcanic gash with half a party. This isn’t my first dungeon crawl!

A Lair Somewhere #32

Bria: They got me!
Rulah: Give me your ridiculous sword!
Bria: It’s a broadsw-
Rulah: Gahncai! Break the wall!
Gahncai:
Rulah: Frenzy.
Goblin Leader: Charge!
Goblin: SHAH! SHAH!
Rulah: What, Gahncai!?
Gahncai: Sorry. I was waiting for Ularon to tell me it was a bad idea.
Bria’s Broadsword: S L I C E
Goblins: Skree! Skreee. Skreeeeee…
Goblin bodies: Thump. thump. thumpthumpthump.
Rulah: BREAK THE FUCKING WALL!

A Lair Somewhere #31

Rulah: You idiots and your stupid bet are going to kill us all!
Bria: If Ularon was awake, he’d be abhorred.
Rulah: Only because he’d want to be the one to point out that goblins—
Goblin: Shah!
Goblin Sword Held by Rulah: Hsssss
Goblin: Skree!
Goblin Swordsman: Shah!
Swords: Clang!
Rulah: Shatter.
Swords: Shatter!
Rulah: Hrah!
Goblin Swordsman: Skree!
Rulah: —are going to kill us all BECAUSE OF YOU IDIOTS AND YOUR STUPID BET!

A Lair Somewhere #29

Bria: Don’t tell me the numbers. We’re falling back.
Rulah: Gahncai, break another hole in a wall.
Gahncai: Lil help?
Bria: Burn those goblins off of him.
Rulah: On it. Can you keep the rest at bay with one arm?
Bria: For a bit. If nothing else, I’ll pretend to die and you two should make a run for it.

Rulah: 5, 10, 15…
Bria: Why don’t you wear armor?
Rulah: I do, I just don’t wear thirty kilograms of plate mail. I’m going to check on Gahncai’s flank.
Bria: It’s Shadow Iron!
Rulah: But it can’t protect everything!
Gahncai: All armor is ridiculous.
Rulah: 5, 10, 15…
Bria: Common fallacy; armor has flaws, but even useful things have flaws.
Gahncai: What about chinks in your armor?
Bria: I’d rather have flawed armor than no—ow!
Rulah: What?
Bria: Nothing. Just a small…knife in my elbow.

A Lair Somewhere #27

Rulah: We’ve got to asses which flank is the greater threat.

Bria: Great. Gahncai! How many goblins do you have over there

Gahncai: A lot. You

Bria: Quite a few

Rulah: RRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggh!!!!!!!

Bria: How do so many goblins live down here?
Gahncai: Goblin life cycle. They life peacefully and breed until they outgrow the local food supply.
Rulah: Then they act aggressively until their numbers are thinned. ‘The harsher the winter, the earlier the raids.’
Gahncai: They’re probably attacking half of the monsters on this level right now.
Rulah: Feels cruel.
Bria’s Sword: SLICE!
Goblin: Skree!
Bria: Maybe we should give them horses.