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All posts for the month August, 2018

Geoff: Y’r built like a labrador fucked a boulder, but there’s three of us, and you–don’t have a knife.

the plane of Caden, later

Gahncai: I know it’s late. Is the metallurgist in?

Metallurgist: For you, traveler? I’m always in. Put it on the table.

Gahncai: Okay, but the bag isn’t for sale.

Metallurgist: Of course. Hitlaew est

Metallurgist: Hmm…

Metallurgist: The coins are gold-plated. Copper mixed with something very unusual. Fascinating. 15,000 skorvans.

Ghancai: …and?

Metallurgist: *sigh* The knife is worthless, but I’ll pay you 5 skorvans to throw it in the trash right now and wipe the blood off my table.

Somewhere else, another time

Gahncai: “Three aces. I win.”

Luke: “Really? ‘cause Geoff has an ace over there and Tan has an ace over there.”

Gahncai: Yes. And I have THREE aces, so I win the hand.

Tan: *sigh* count ‘em.

Gahncai: one, two, three, fooour…oh. There’s too many.

Gahncai: One of you must be cheating. I should take my money and–

Geoff: Are you stupid or something? You’ve got two aces o’ spades.

Gahncai: …

Gahncai: I’m not…’book smart.’

Planetary security, diplomatic incidents, and transporter protocols are just a few things that utterly baffle us about this episode. Like…are there not telepaths on Space E-Lance?

I know it’s a ‘fun’ episode, but it’s nonsense.

Is there a difference between the words “nice” and “good”? Is Daimon Tog a bad person who is nice? Can we separate a pleasant exterior from a malicious interior? Can I load these questions any heavier?

The Beige and The Bold is available on iTunes, Stitcher, and other podcasting platforms. It updates Sunday nights at 12:00 PM ET / 11:00 PM CT.

*Fifteen minutes later*

*Bria exits the kitchen with armfuls of plates and bowls and cups, in piles tall enough to obscure her vision.*

Bria: I think this should be enough to feed your family.

Lila: Oh my god.

Lila’s Mom: Well, I never!

Bria: No, wait! Don’t leave–

*Door slams.*

Bria: Undead can’t do math. 🙁

Sarek

Derek’s 80/40/40 joke was really good and I missed it. I’m not sure what else there is to say here.

Was there another way to slip some elements of TOS into the series? I feel like this series quickly forgets the lessons of this episode later, but it is a good one.

The Beige and The Bold is available on iTunes, Stitcher, and other podcasting platforms. It updates Sunday nights at 12:00 PM ET / 11:00 PM CT.

*Many years ago*

Lila: Bria, honey, I think it’s adorable that you’ve given our servants the night off so you can serve my parents yourself, but…

Bria: Look, I’m undead now and I still love you. We’ll make this work.

Lila, *kisses her*: Please get the plates. There are thirteen members of my immediate family and we’ll need three plates each, plus a bowl and a silverware set. Plus two for us.

Bria: I’ll be right back.

Lila: Also, remember to be careful about what you say to my mother; you know she’s sensitive about her weight.

Bria: Of course.

*Bria enters the kitchen and sees a towering pile of dishes*

Bria: So…three for every thirteen and…um…wait.

*Many years ago, Norphalia*

Lila: Bria, honey, I think it’s adorable that you’ve given our servants the night off so you can serve my parents yourself, but…

Bria: Look, I’m undead now and I still love you. We’ll make this work.

Lila, *kisses her*: Please get the plates. There are thirteen members of my immediate family and we’ll need three plates each, plus a bowl and a silverware set. Plus two for us.

Bria: I’ll be right back.

Lila: Just–just remember be careful about what you say to my mother tonight; you know she’s sensitive about her weight.

Bria: Of course.

*Bria enters the kitchen and sees a towering pile of dishes*

Bria: So…three for every thirteen and…um…wait.