After lots of painstaking work by my girlfriend and her roommate, my Rosy Higgins redesign of Spider-Man is finally done!
…so I thought this may be relevant to some people’s interests
Haha. Administrators. I can only imagine S.H.I.E.L.D. administrators wearing two weapon holsters, but they don’t even bother carrying guns. One woman asks a dude for a pen and he’s like “it’s in here somewhere,” and reaches into his holster and rubber bands and mini-staplers and shit fall out and then he remembers that he put it in his boot-knife holster specifically so he wouldn’t forget where he put it. And then they both laugh about it.
Meanwhile, Agent Fischer accidentally drops his thermite grenade when he’s trying to reference some notes for a pie chart.
Find a guy dressed as Bill Finger and steal his clothes.
Batman vs Ozymandias
submitted by christiancasablancas
Bruce Wayne is known for being a man among gods. His strategy, preparation, skill, and resources(not to mention paranoia) keeps the raging underbelly of Gotham under his control. He is one of the most skilled and intelligent humans on Earth, but what if he ran into someone better?
Adrian Veidt, better known by his alias Ozymandias, was the smartest man in the world during his time. His mind is beyond genius and he is able to process information from multiple sources at once and react in nanoseconds. Much like Mr. Wayne, he too inherited a substantial fortune after the death of his parents at a young age, but he donated the entirety of his wealth to charity, then using his brilliant mind he became a billionaire and even established world peace, albeit through much deception and manipulation.
He is also master of multiple martial arts, able to defeat two of his former vigilante team mates simultaneously with ease.Batman may be peak human, but Ozy is very peak human, flirting with the line between human and metahuman, he was even shown to catch a bullet fired at him by calculating its trajectory.
But the one thing that Bruce does have to his advantage is his preparedness; while Adrian retired from costumed heroism Bruce embraced it, equipping himself with armor and gear necessary for taking down villains physically well beyond Ozy’s depth.
He may be outmatched, but the Dark Knight is anything but outgunned. Bruce would come out on top more times than not, taking down this egghead the old fashioned way.
Yeah, Batman would win, but not because he had gadgets (really?). Comparing standard issue Batman to Watchmen-Era Ozy is kinda random. Might as well pit DKR era Batman vs Red Son Superman; kinda wonky.
Batman wins because Ozy is, technically speaking, a villain. Ozy believes that the ends justify the means. Whether they do or not, the human fallibility of his plan means that all of those who died did so in vain.
That assumes both contestants are dropped in a white room and obediently beat the shit out of one another with their fists. That’s the very kind of thinking Watchmen was written to criticize. It’s like pitting Lancelot against Don Quixote.
I’d much rather imagine Bruce Wayne and Adrian Veidt working together to make a better tomorrow. Sure, Veidt is a bit cynical, but he learns from Wayne’s optimism. And yeah, Wayne can be a bit prone to punching things, but Veidt has ambition to show him the larger picture. They turn their vast fortunes and incredible intellects towards making a better world. A world where children like them aren’t left alone.
And they succeed.
WHAT EVEN IS THIS IM LAUGHING
This is a woman living the dream. For us all.
Warren Ellis, Stuart Immonen, and Wade von Grawbadger ~ Nextwave, Agents of H.A.T.E. for your appreciation.
You’ve been good all year. Have some Nextwave for Halloween.